Procrastinatory Art Journalling

 

Am I procrastinating?

Or am I just being too hard on myself? Is there actually something in there, in the depths of my brain, percolating away? I kind of hope it's the latter, though I know I shouldn't rely on it too much, if I want to produce art consistently. 

The following photos are unedited and unsorted, dumped into the post in the order that Blogspot deemed best, but I'm not sorry and not really that concerned.  Blogspot has made it so hard to blog in the last few years, that whenever I have the urge, I just want to run with it, in the most uncomplex, unresistant way I can. 

(Oh, and I had to use a different brand of browser to the one I normally prefer, because all of the little buttons started appearing as error messages, but that's just one of the vagaries of internet life.)

I haven't made any new Art (with a capital A) since the start of this year. I tend to go through rollercoaster-like phases of having ideas and feverishly trying to bring them into being, then long periods of self-doubt, never finishing anything and retreating into my 'comfort art'. 

Which, for me, is art journalling. About a year ago, I discovered a technique invented by Jennibellie. It's not an art technique, but one to choose what and how to art. I've always loved playing with randomising all sorts of things, so this was right up my alley. Being me, of course I expanded on the technique, adding more technique cards of my own, plus two dice to decide the colour and shape. There's no need to decide anything. It's quite freeing.

I tend to work on multiple journals at a time, plus a few loose junk journal pages. I'm so impatient about waiting for wet layers to dry, I figure if I work on more than one page at a time, I get more arting time for each round of waiting-to-dry time. I usually choose either 7 or 9 pages to work on, as I just like those numbers. Some of the pages are newly started ones, others have layers 5 or 10 years old already on them. 

I shuffle the cards, choose 6, or 7, or all 12, and then work through a round. When I get to the end, it always seems that it was too short, and I can't wait to shuffle them and start over again. And yes, I often ending up putting layers over layers that I wouldn't have thought of myself ... and sometimes probably shouldn't have. Ink tends to re-wet and bleed when something wet is added on top!

The results, though, are richer and have more depth than anything I've made before. It excites me to see the ink splatters and pencil alternating with paint and little collaged bits that contain memories. 

None of the pages in this post are finished, and yes, some are more successful than others (however you might want to measure 'success'). Most likely, none of them will ever be seen outside the confines of this blog or my instagram, and I'm still trying to convince myself that even so, it's still actually worth it. 

Weirdly, I've been getting an urge to draw on them -- actual drawings! That's the one thing I've always baulked at, and the main reason why so many of the old pages remain unfinished. Or perhaps a wash of pastel yellow paint IS the finished page, not just the background. That's the beauty of an art journal: it's my art journal, I can do what I want!

My January and 3rd Cativersary

January was very hot, most days -- except for a wonderful -- day/night-long thunderstorm right at the end. I'm "between jobs" right now, so I've had plenty of time for crafting, reading and doing things around the house. I heard the term 'funemployed' for the first time recently -- I'm not quite sure how I feel about it!

What I've been journalling...
I've been very much focussed on my Hobonichi art diary again -- probably because I've finally been able to start using my brand new 2019 edition. To kick things off, I've been doing Rainbowholic's Dare to Dream cute journalling challenge, and started documenting things that I wouldn't have before. As Kaila from Rainbowholic says, daily journalling is all about the little things in life.

What I've been working on ...
Way back in April last year, I posted that I started crocheting a blanket. It's both a craft and art project (I'm doubling up, but it's not cheating, honest!) and I'll do a proper post about what it's all about soon. I've been working hard on it in January, so I thought I'd share a couple of 'preview' photos:

What I've been embroidering...
As a change from constant crocheting, I've been doing a bit on my tapestry project as my TV craft in the evenings. In the artificial light it can be hard to tell the difference between the colours, but it's still enjoyable.

What I've been reading ...
I did the 24in48 Readathon challenge last weekend -- to read for any combination totalling 24 hours in a 48-hour period over the weekend. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be! I ended up with a total just shy of 11 hours. My eyes were sore and dry! I did however finish one book that I'd started a year ago ... and one I'd started over two years ago! Having the challenge there to motivate me helped to keep my short attention span on track and read for longer periods than I would normally.

Here's my to-read stack before the challenge (not all shown):

Here are the books I donated to the Little Library afterwards (only the top one was finished during the challenge! I just had a big stack built up. Also, my mother-in-law gives me a lot of her old romance novels -- don't judge me!):

Here are the books I picked up in exchange from the Little Library:

3rd Cativersary
And now here are some kitty spams to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of Sharick coming to live with us, which was on 6th January. He's such a part of our household now, I can't remember life before he came to live with us.

21 Days in My Art World : Week 3

Here is the final in my series on this hashtag challenge hosted by Tara Leaver. I skipped a couple of days in Week 3. The challenge started to seem really long by that stage, I have to admit. Once again, the photos are accompanied by the original notes I wrote on my Instagram.

Click here to see Week 1!
Click here to see Week 2!

15. How I Name My Paintings
The way I name my paintings is quite boring, I'm afraid: I name them after the character ("The Gut Pixie") or what the character is doing ("Papa Hupio Tells a Story"). I prefer to keep them simple and straightforward because in the folk tales I'm inspired by, even the most fantastical events are described in a simple, straightforward way. It somehow adds to the air of unreality.

16. Smallest Painting
Back in 2008-2009, I did a lot of ACEOs (playing card-sized works). I don't know where they are now, so I took a photo of them on my blog. I was really into the swirly shapes back then. I also did a lot of embroidered ones which I remembered that I enjoyed a lot.

17. Largest Painting
None of my paintings are noticeably larger than any of the others, so I skipped this one.

18. Celebrate!
I'm sick of posting photos of my art, so here's one of my derpy self! At least half of the photos that Husband takes of me I have my eyes firmly shut, but we keep going until we get something good. That's what I'd like to celebrate: turning up against all the odds, against all the obstacles both external and internal, and just giving it a go!

19. From the Archives
This drawing (photo is a screenshot from my blog) is a re-creation of one I did when I was 13. The original is lost to the mists of time - ie the bin, probably! This was the artwork which my art teacher criticised harshly and put me off doing art for many years. Re-creating the drawing was an act of defiance. I did it to accompany an article on facing your fears for a group zine. When I look at it, I remember the sadness and sense of exclusion my younger self felt, but I also feel determined never to let anyone else feel the way I did. I truly believe anyone can be an artist!

20. Favourite Technique
This prompt seemed quite similar to an earlier one, plus I was falling behind in the challenge, so I skipped it.

21. Big Dream
My big dream is to make enough pieces to fill up a gallery and then have a show! And at least a couple of people will look at them and be happy. They think, "ah yes, that's a Katie Theodorus!" And then they will think, "I want to make some art, too!"

21 Days in My Art World : Week 2

I'm continuing on with my series on this hashtag challenge hosted by Tara Leaver, even though it happened quite some time ago now! I'm just a completist that way. I skipped several days in Week 2. Once again, the photos are accompanied by the original notes I wrote on my Instagram.

Click here to see Week 1!
[Week 3 is coming soon!]


8. Inspiration
I'm inspired by many different things! Here are a few of the ones that came to mind first: dreams, craft, Taíno stone carvings, nature, especially the bright colours of flowers, monsters (friendly ones!), kawaii illustration and culture, etc!

9. Where the Art Happens and 10. Artist Hands
I was too embarrassed to show my hobby room as it looks like a dogs' breakfast right now! (Plus you could see peeks of it in previous photos.) I was too embarrassed to show my hands as my eczema is very bad at the moment, as it always is in Summer.



11. Turning Point
When and how did I decide I was an artist? It was a couple of years ago. I just decided one day to start calling myself an artist. It took many years and a lot of inner work to get to that point: to ignore everyone who said I couldn't, and overcome my self-doubt. My first thought after making the decision was: "I need to stop working in art journals and start working on canvas so other people can see this stuff!"

12. Current Motifs
I notice that my paintings often have an oval shape around the central subject. Usually the oval is a portal from which the character is emerging, though in this work (in progress), they are a protective energy field. I like the freedom and sweeping movement of drawing the ovals in paint before settling down to the finer details.

13. Process Insight
To be honest, I couldn't think of anything to put for this. My art is very intuitive so I don't really think of myself as having a procrss.


14. Sold!
I have sold a total of one painting, and it was to my best friends. I don't think that really counts, but the gesture of support means so much to me. They hung it in their front hallway so all their visitors can see it when they enter the house. This is a great honour for me!

21 Days in My Art World : Week 1

I'm currently taking part in a challenge hosted by the lovely Tara Leaver called 21 Days in My Art World. The prompts are designed to encourage artists and creative people everywhere to share their art and process. Most of the participants are posting their responses on Instagram, a few on Tara's Facebook group. I thought I'd post mine here for any that aren't on Instagram. I skipped a few days because they didn't resonate with me or other reasons (I was too embarrassed!), but I made sure to note those too, for completeness. The photos are accompanied by the original comments I posted on my Instagram.

Here is Week 1:

1. Favourite Painting
This was actually my first ever painting on canvas, which I did 2-1/2 years ago, and gave it to my mum for her birthday. I love the details, scribbly background, vaguely botanical shapes and range of colours. I don't feel like I've been able to quite achieve it ever since. Unfortunately I've never seen it hung up anywhere in my mum's house, which has been discouraging, but I try to keep going.

2. Lesson Learned
I still have so much to learn, but the greatest lesson I've learned so far is to never let anyone tell you "you can't ". My Year 8 art teacher told me that, and it was a wounding experience that took me over 20 years to recover from. I let "no, you can't draw", "no, you can't be an artist", "no, you're not good/talented/special enough" stop me for too long. I had to learn to ignore all that before I could even consider that I could do art and be an artist. I truly believe that anyone can be an artist. Don't let anyone ever tell you "no"!

3. Latest WIP
I actually have 6 paintings in progress right now, but just showing you 3. There were a few hiccups in today's session: my favourite paint colour was dried out, so I tried to recreate it with a mix of other colours. I tried to do a stencil and it was all blobby so I painted over it. I didn't like the collage pieces I'd laid down last time, so I painted over those too. With each painting I do, I learn more about layering.

4. Art Book -- I didn't do this one as I don't really refer to books for inspiration.


5. Favourite Tool
This probably sounds strange, but my favourite tool is packing foam pellets. I cut them up to make small stamping tools to make patterns. I also really like bubble wrap.

6. Current Challenge
I tend to have very limited subject matter because of my lack of skill in drawing. I'd like to branch out more, but I don't have the confidence right now. I need to challenge myself to improve my drawing skills and explore new ideas.

7. Colour Palette
My favourite colours at the moment are pinks, purples and blues. Yellow and orange sneak in there a bit, too. I NEVER use black or white. If I want to depict the night sky then I'll usually use a dark purple or blue, but I offset it with an eye-aching shade of orange or pink. love bright colour!

Click here to see Week 2!
[Week 3 is coming soon!]

Art is Important

Today, I worked on my art for the first time in 2 months. I kept hesitating because I was worried I'd screw up the canvases. Because they might not come out like the image in my head. Because my art is different to other people's. Because I can't draw as well as other people.

Today was different though. I decided to be brave. As I worked, I was listening to some old cassette tapes. Weirdly, when the song Kids in America started playing, the events of the last week must have caught up with me. Normally I never cry, but cried then, for all of the decent people of the world. By the time the song ended, I knew what to do. I remembered showing a friend some of my paintings a few months ago. Among other comments, he said that looking at them made him happy.

That's what I want to do -- I want to make people happy. Something shifted in me. I worked all afternoon, made some steps on a painting that I'd been hesitating to make, and started a new one. I can't imagine letting those doubts get in my way now. They're nothing compared with what I need to do. I hope this means that good can come from bad, not just for me but for the whole world.

My September

It's Spring here in the southern half of the world. The days are longer, the trees are waking up, and the cat spends his mornings lazing in the sun. It's taken a while for the weather to warm up -- even now there are just as many cold and rainy days as Spring-like ones. As inspiring as Spring is, I'm not one to love the Summer heat, so I'm enjoying the cooler days while I can. I've been working on lots of creative activities, though not being able to focus on any one thing on particular, so I feel like I haven't made much progress.

This coming month is Inktober, and also the next round of Creative Sprint. I know many people love Inktober and I'm looking forward to seeing their work, but I have decided to participate in Creative Sprint. Because of my dilemma above, and the ridiculously long list of WIPs I have at the moment, I have decided to focus on working on current projects of all types. I will try to post my progress on my Instagram every day, and also weekly updates here on the blog. But now, back to what I did in September...

What I've been painting ...
There are so many interesting e-courses out there, many free, that it could take me a lifetime to get through them all. I finished the Fluent Self Journalling course, and began Tara Leaver's 10 Days to Making Art You Love course. The first assignment is to do a very simple, quick landscape in any medium you like. I've been very inspired by dreams lately, so I did this dreamlike scape, like something from a primitive myth or an alien world.

What I've been visiting ...
During the month I was very busy with events. Well, one event per week is 'busy' for me, I have to admit! I went out of my anxiety comfort zone and went alone to the Bad Girls' Club exhibition, at a pub in the trendy part of town. There was so much amazing, feminist work there, and I met up with my new friend, one of the artists. I was very inspired and spent all my spare time in the next few weeks writing for my zine, designing plushies, etc.

Bad Girl Zine and bottle shrine work by @possumparcel
What I've been reading ...
I had a renewed interest in reading last month, mostly sticking to the older junior and young adult books that I found while unpacking. There's a library near my new work, and I've set myself a little challenge of reading and donating 12 books before I join. My favourite, which I remember from my childhood, was Helen Keller's Teacher, about the life of Annie Sullivan, who taught Helen Keller to communicate and was by her side most of her life.

Selections from Instagram
With clearer weather, I've had a chance to go for walks before work in the mornings. After rainy nights, the early morning sunlight has a soft, hazy feel to it, and even in the city there are some beautiful shots to be had -- especially when water is involved. It seems I've had a fascination with reflections lately.

The Native Mint plant in my garden. It smells divine, but I haven't yet been able to find out if it's edible:

My July

July has been a month of both continuity and change. As I wrote in my Winter Garden Update a few days ago, the weather has continued cold, though alternating between rainy and sunny days. Having finished the bulk of unpacking and tidying the house, I was starting to feel a little daunted at the many bits and pieces left over, until two new obsessions came along to distract me, which I'll explain below.

I started working full-time again this week. Of course that means I will have a lot less free time, but I'd still like to post in my blog 1-2 times a week and once a day on my Instagram. In reality though, it might take me a while to settle in to a routine again. So if you don't hear from me quite so frequently, that's why.

In truth, for the last couple of years I've had a second job (my only job for the last 6 months) in my friend's shop, so I'll actually be working 5-1/2 to 6 days a week again. Of course, I have mixed feelings about it -- it'll be nice to be earning money and being able to buy things again, but I'll miss all the free time I had and the things I got to do in that time. My priorities have changed in the last year, in regards to the relationship I'd like to have with work, money and free time. I'd like to touch on this in more detail one day soon.

What I've been playing ...
Two new games appeared on my radar this month, and I have to admit that both have impacted my life quite a bit in different ways. The first was Stardew Valley. This adorable farming simulator has been out on Steam since February, but Husband bought it for me on his account in the 20% off sale. I was hooked from Day 1. The 8-bit look and music are enchanting. The plethora of plants, trees, fruits, vegetables and animals are depicted right down to their accurate and visible growth rates. They're exciting to plant and watch grow. The seasons are also represented accurately with the trees and grass changing colour with each season, and snow in Winter. As you walk through the forest, you can hear the rustling of animals, and sometimes see birds, squirrels and more as you would in real life. I really do think this game would appeal to Mori Girls.

The game is not a casual one that turns into a tap-fest before long like other games I've played lately, but a full game with many facets. I've already racked up nearly 60 hours of gameplay, and haven't done even a quarter of the activities on offer. I can see myself being enchanted by it for a long time yet.

The second game I mentioned is ... you may be able to guess ... Pokémon Go. I won't write about it as I'm sure anyone who's interested has heard of it, and anyone who isn't interested is sick of hearing about it!

What I've been drawing ...
I'm please to report that I've been faithfully journalling in my Hobonichi Techo art diary nearly every night. On the couple of occasions that I did miss a night, I made up for it by doing a double page spread the next night. It's the best thing yet for motivating me to be creative every day.

What I've been dreaming of ...
I've been feeling very motivated to start turning my yard into a proper garden. Parts of it are wonderful, but other parts are quite embarrassing under-developed. Thankfully there are lots of ideas in my gardening magazines, and I've been writing down the ones that appeal to me most. I've also been spending time outside, just standing and trying to 'feel' the garden. I want to be in a space that's harmonious to be in, not one that's just had changes imposed on it. By the time the weather warms up and it's time for planting, I'll hopefully have a good idea of what I want to do.

Selections from Instagram