In The Kitchen - New Year's Eve!

This spread is what I made for the party-for-two that Boy and I are having for New Year's Eve. I tried to make sure the snacks were healthy, yet fun and interesting for us both to eat as well. Here we see:

Stuffed Celery Stalks
Celery filled with slivers of low-fat cheese slice and peanut butter. Decorated with 3 sultanas on each one.

Wrapped Asparagus Spears with Yoghurt Dip
Asparagus spears wrapped with light ham, with a Greek yoghurt dip containing lemon juice, fresh parsley and other flavourings.

Hommous Dip with Chips
Purchased hommous and caramelised onion dip (low-fat) which I decorated with a drizzle of olive oil and paprika (spilt the paprika and put way too much on, but it was still OK!). Served with purchased Snakata baked corn crackers.

Retro Mini Kebabs
Toothpicks threaded with the following: Low-fat vintage tasty cheese, kabana, kalamata olives, butter (lima) beans, pineapple, strawberry.

Served with margaritas and Grindhouse movies!

I hope your New Year's Eve celebration is as Ace as mine!

2010 In Review

This is the bit where I review my 2010 New Year's Goals. Here they are, listed in my art journal:

Hoo-wee, that's a lot of stuff!
How did I go?:

2010 Resolutions / Goals
1. Publish 3 zines.
I filled up two journals with personal writing this year, but I didn't finish a zine. I felt withdrawn. I didn't have the motivation to work on anything for others, only for myself. I do have one zine that I started last year. I worked on it here and there, but I didn't finish it. Part of the problem is that there aren't many moments when I'm feeling both confident and mentally energetic enough to write lucidly. Maybe it would be better to concentrate on cultivating a state where I can create meaningfully.

2.Travel overseas.
I went to Europe! Check it!!

3. Do a 10km walk.
The most I managed was a 5km walk. I'll try harder next year .... ?! I remember being so excited and thinking this was one of the goals I would be most likely to achieve. I don't know what happened! I'm not even sure this goal is possible with the way I'm managing my life right now. I do think it's a very worthy thing to achieve, and as I wrote when I first decided on it, it furthers my longer-term goal to become healthier and fitter. So perhaps I'll roll it over to 2011.

[Later]
Boy has pointed out to me that we walked at least 10km in Paris, on that afternoon when we walked to the Eiffel Tower and back. Even though it wasn't all in one go, it was still a mammoth effort. So I'm ticking this one!

4. Organise my apartment.
I should have known that this would take longer than a year! =D I've definitely done some good work on it though, with my 30 Days of De-cluttering project. I also now have what I call my "Whole-of-Flat" plan, which is a floor plan of the flat and everything that needs working on. I have stuck it up on the wall, so if I feel like doing some housework, I can see at a glance what needs doing.

5. Take care of myself.
I did everything my doctor told me to. I was 'compliant', as they like to say. I took all of my vitamins (most of the time, heh!). I got the scans, x-rays and examinations done. I got the allergy injections and now I can breathe. And I'm no longer allergic to cats! woohoo! I tried to drink more water and manage chocolate cravings. I did everything I could to trick myself into exercising. I even asked my body what she wanted. I worked on accepting the fact that I'm not thin and beautiful and smooth and hairless.
Does all of that count? I think I achieved this goal.

6. Fill [my] art journal.
I knew from pretty early on that I wasn't going to achieve this one, and I really didn't care. That's not what art is about. It's about quality, not quantity. I enjoy working in my art journal, flipping through it and adding bits here and there. I don't think I'll set such silly goals anymore!

7. Submit a zine to Sticky Institute.
What can I say? The confidence with which I wrote that dissipated rapidly when 2010 hit and reality sank in. It's still a dream, but I don't see myself as having failed this goal. I think my priorities are different now. It's not important to me to sell things and receive money. It's not even important for people to read my writing. If I'm going to be brave enough to connect with people, I want to do it on a two-way street.

8. Learn an e-publishing program.
Again, a complete no. If only thinking made it so. I did think about this goal quite a few times, but never got organised to actually do it. I notice that Sister Diane of CraftyPod is offering a course on Publishing your Crafty eBook in the New Year. It would be a lot of fun to do, and I trust that she would be a good teacher. However, I wasn't planning on publishing a craft book. Dilemmas!


2010 Wrap Up
I'm cringing as I contemplate analysing what I'm tempted to call this roster of failures. No, it's Negative Nancy that wants to call it that. I achieved 3 - no, 4! - out of the 8 goals. (Bearing in mind that some of them were kinda vague.) I did learn a lot from this experience, though. Looking back, I think I'd bitten off more than I could chew. I tend to do that quite a bit. My weekly list of things-to-do isn't often completed. Also, I'm just not ready for some of these goals yet. I can see that I need to learn to work with what I'm capable of doing, not what I wish I was able to do. I think I also need more structure. I'm not good with things that are so big and vague. I need a list of things to do, that I can work on step-by-step and tick off as I go along.

Yes, I recently finished Getting Things Done. Does it show? Maybe I'll read a book on procrastination next!

I was a little surprised when I looked at the statistics (below). I had assumed that I'd spent a lot of time faffing around this year, just because I didn't achieve half my goals and I didn't finish any zines. In fact, I started and finished many more craft projects than in 2009, and learned some major new techniques. Some interests were related to my goals, e.g. cooking with fresh food. I wrote many more blog posts, and I think that's because my interests are shifting away from writing zines and towards more immediate forms of communication.

All in all, I'm quite pleased with what I've achieved this year. I'm hoping to build on this and learn more next year.


2010 Statistics [2009 statistic in brackets]
Books finished: 76 (133)
Items sold Etsy: 32 (42)
Items sold Artfire: 2 (3)
Opportunities: 1 (5)
Opportunities followed through: 0 (1)
Blog posts: 82 (54)
Craft items started: 23 (10)
Craft items finished: 14 (6)
Zines written: ½ (2)
Art journal pages completed: 3 (15)
5-Minute Obsessions: 6* (12)
Longer than 5-Minute Obsessions: 7** (6)
New techniques learned: 3*** (4)

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* 5-Minute Obsessions: 1. poffertjes. 2. mandalas. 3. deco tape. 4. muffin tops. 5. Japanese knitting books. 6. filet crochet.

** Longer than 5-Minute Obsessions: 1.making a shrug. 2. last minute baby items. 3. baking. 4. oversharing. 5. fresh food. 6. crocheted blankets/afghans. 7. writing patterns (and thinking on).

*** New techniques learned: 1. Crohook. 2. Entrelac. 3. Illusion knitting.

[ Reverb10 : Day 16 : Friendship ]

Day 16. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I didn't make any new friends this year, but I've become closer to someone I've known for a while. B has shown me many things. When she shaved her head for charity, she showed me that there are much more important things than what you look like or what other people think of you. Not only did she get used to the change, but she embraced it, declaring that she'd rather have short hair and wasn't going to grow it back.

When she was in a car accident which totalled her car, she showed such physical and emotional bravery that I was overwhelmed. She must have been feeling terrified and shaken up inside. Her words though, were so wise - "the car doesn't mater. All that matters is that I'm still here."

When her flat was flooded - twice - she was philosophical about it. It's happened, there's nothing we can do about it. The books can be re-bought. Lucky the Christmas presents were in a box. Her shining of light on negative situations reminded me how much happier life is when we have a positive attitude.

When she decided that she needed a new job, she went out and got one. And her new employers love her. To me - I choke completely in interviews - this seems miraculous. But if my friend can do it, then perhaps I can, too. B is a dear friend and she has shown me that a person can be happy and bouncy through adversity. A person can be successful despite setbacks. She has shown me that we can be bold and daring - and happy - through everything that life dishes out to us.

[ Reverb10 : Day 15 : 5 Minutes ]

Day 15. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

-- Firstly, you went to Europe for 3 weeks in Sept/Oct. It was a life-changing experience. You met your Dutch family and saw your roots.

-- You have a nephew!!!

-- You made a decision to love yourself - both mind and body. It's still a struggle to get there, but you're really trying very hard.

-- You decided to do things differently - combat the negativity and forgive yourself for not being the person you always dreamed of being - for not being perfect.

-- You stopped keeping the food diary because it wasn't helping - you realised that it wasn't actually changing your behaviour at all and was causing more guilt than anything else.

-- Later on in the year, the doctor told you that you no longer have fatty liver, so something must have worked.

-- C & D got married, and N & P got engaged.

-- You became more open to other people, both online and in real life. You didn't make a decision per se. It just happened.

-- Even though you're still on the journey, you're proud of yourself because you came a long away this year. You tried your hardest.

[ Reverb10 : Day 14 : Appreciation ]

Day 14. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year?

I took a deep breath before starting to write this piece. And that deep breath lasted for 6 days. I knew what I was going to write about the moment I read the prompt, so that wasn't the problem. I couldn't figure out how I was going to do justice to the subject. When you read what it is, you'll understand why. I waited until such time as I was alone and quiet, had nothing else to do for half an hour, and could write in a relaxed and thoughtful way. Being so close to Christmas, that never happened, so I let go of the breath and decided to write anyway.

The thing I appreciate most - this year and all the time - is my boyfriend. I don't want to sound sappy, but he really is the best thing in my life. I can't imagine what I'd do without him. He's my life partner, Romeo, flatmate, helpmate, handyman, computer help desk, chef, anti-depressant, personal shopper, fashion and interior design consultant, expert photography consultant, social activities co-ordinator, domestic worker, and occasionally child-care attendant.

You know how when you're first dating someone, the thought of them makes you smile? It's been almost five years, and that still happens. We live together now, and I look forward to seeing him every night after work. I'm proud of him. I love him.

I want to thank him for every cup of tea that magically appears in front of me. For fixing my computer and deciphering those error messages I don't understand. For all the times he's done the laundry. For turning on the TV for me. For comforting me when wake up in the middle of the night, or freak out about misplacing a prescription. For making our lunch most mornings. For carrying the heavy shopping and the bottom end of anything we have to carry down the stairs. For putting up with annoying situations. For getting up early to go and visit my relatives. For not complaining about my snoring. For his patience. For being the best thing in my life.

[ Reverb10 : Day 13 : Action ]

Day 13. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

When I thought about action, writing just didn't seem appropriate. So I decided to grab Boy's graphics tablet, which he's just installed on my computer, and use it to 'write' a photo essay.

When I thought about the word 'action', the first thing I wanted to do was this:

Then I wanted to do this:

Then I figured I'd better get down to some serious thinking. After considering the posts of the last few days, I decided I should do this:

Followed by this:

After that, hopefully I'll be like this:

[ Reverb10 : Day 12 : Body Integration ]

Day 12. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I know I said I was going to take a couple of days off from writing, but once I read the prompt, my brain just started ticking away!

I mentioned in my last post that I've always struggled with acceptance of my body. When I think about that a little more, it starts to seem pretty crazy. My body and I are one. I am my body, in the most profound way possible. Aren't I? Some philosophers think so, others not. Hmmmm!

About 6 months ago, I wrote a piece called, "A Conversation with Body". I pretended that my mind and my body were two separate entities, and they could talk to each other. After a while, I even found that the creative side of my personality, the part I call Apartmentcat, was butting in as well! The two (three) participants in the conversation had different styles of speaking, but they managed to communicate successfully. It was a lot of fun to write, but it was also an important moment for me. Every time I read back through it, I laugh and then tears come to my eyes. The lessons I learned from it are ones I would do well to remember. Perhaps I will read it once a month from now on.

In that piece, I mentioned how I felt when I visited Japan. I felt the same way when I visited Europe earlier this year. Normally, being in my body is like dragging around an incalcitrant child. When I'm on holiday though, the excitement and wonder overtakes me and I forget all about it. I forget that I'm fat. I forget that I can't walk 5kms in one go. I forget that my legs rub together when I walk and my bra needs re-arranging and my tummy jiggles. I forget that I have stomach churning and reflux, and that my back hurts. The discomfort disappears. I'm too busy having experiences. All of a sudden I'm the child, running around, carefree.

I'm still of two minds about whether forgetting your body is there, is the same thing as feeling integrated with it. I suppose it is.

[Later]
Actually, I regret describing my body as a recalcitrant child. Poor thing! She/I deserve better than that. *self-hug*