Am I procrastinating?
The following photos are unedited and unsorted, dumped into the post in the order that Blogspot deemed best, but I'm not sorry and not really that concerned. Blogspot has made it so hard to blog in the last few years, that whenever I have the urge, I just want to run with it, in the most uncomplex, unresistant way I can.
(Oh, and I had to use a different brand of browser to the one I normally prefer, because all of the little buttons started appearing as error messages, but that's just one of the vagaries of internet life.)
I haven't made any new Art (with a capital A) since the start of this year. I tend to go through rollercoaster-like phases of having ideas and feverishly trying to bring them into being, then long periods of self-doubt, never finishing anything and retreating into my 'comfort art'.
Which, for me, is art journalling. About a year ago, I discovered a technique invented by Jennibellie. It's not an art technique, but one to choose what and how to art. I've always loved playing with randomising all sorts of things, so this was right up my alley. Being me, of course I expanded on the technique, adding more technique cards of my own, plus two dice to decide the colour and shape. There's no need to decide anything. It's quite freeing.
I tend to work on multiple journals at a time, plus a few loose junk journal pages. I'm so impatient about waiting for wet layers to dry, I figure if I work on more than one page at a time, I get more arting time for each round of waiting-to-dry time. I usually choose either 7 or 9 pages to work on, as I just like those numbers. Some of the pages are newly started ones, others have layers 5 or 10 years old already on them.
I shuffle the cards, choose 6, or 7, or all 12, and then work through a round. When I get to the end, it always seems that it was too short, and I can't wait to shuffle them and start over again. And yes, I often ending up putting layers over layers that I wouldn't have thought of myself ... and sometimes probably shouldn't have. Ink tends to re-wet and bleed when something wet is added on top!
The results, though, are richer and have more depth than anything I've made before. It excites me to see the ink splatters and pencil alternating with paint and little collaged bits that contain memories.
None of the pages in this post are finished, and yes, some are more successful than others (however you might want to measure 'success'). Most likely, none of them will ever be seen outside the confines of this blog or my instagram, and I'm still trying to convince myself that even so, it's still actually worth it.
Weirdly, I've been getting an urge to draw on them -- actual drawings! That's the one thing I've always baulked at, and the main reason why so many of the old pages remain unfinished. Or perhaps a wash of pastel yellow paint IS the finished page, not just the background. That's the beauty of an art journal: it's my art journal, I can do what I want!
