Friday, 25 February 2011

[ Reverb10 : Day 19 : Healing ]

This piece was written on 2nd January 2011.

Day 19. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip revelation? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I'm confused by this prompt. I don't feel healed at all. In fact, I feel quite the opposite right now. My back is stiff from sitting too long, my stomach is roiling because I forgot to take my Colitis medication until lunchtime, and the eczema on my hand itches and flakes. Or does the prompt mean healed psychologically? Cos I'm pretty crazy...

But no, there is something I can think of. When I got back from Europe in October, I stopped waking up at 5am. The negativity in my head lessened. I was excited about things again. I saw more. When I tried to relax, it worked. When I ventured out into the company of others, the anxiety was less. I felt centred. I hate that word, but I can't think of any other way to describe how I felt - like I was in the middle of my life.

I beg the Universe every day not to let this feeling slip back into the oblivion of my ingrained habits.

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