Saturday 4 December 2010

[ Reverb10 : Day 2 : Writing ]

Day 2. Today's theme is:
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

Well ... just about everything comes before writing, I'm sorry to say. 24 hours in a day is just not enough. By the time I've gone to work, worked all day, stood for 45 minutes on the tram home, exercised, done laundry, dishes etc, checked my email and read some blogs, fed the cat, fed myself ... phew, I'm tired! I can't possibly think about writing today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe on the weekend. Maybe next weekend when I don't have so much planned. Writing rarely makes its way from the bottom of my priority list. It's down there with re-arranging my shoes and matching up all the plastic containers with their lids. Sometimes I wonder if it's any more satisfying than those sorts of tasks. I think one reason for that is the uncertainty of it. There's a slight chance I could write something really worthwhile. There's also a chance (much more likely!) that I could write something merely adequate, fill up a page or two with some words that may or may not be used in a more permanent context one day. Most likely I'll open up my personal journal and write some adolescent rubbish about how much my life sucks, with the delusion that perhaps I can use some of it in a fiction work one day. But its also quite likely that I'll stare out the window for a while and then give up, ending up with nothing. I will have wasted my time. And that's something I hate doing. If I spend my time tidying up the flat, at least the place will look neater. If I spend my time working on a scarf or a baby blanket, at least I'll have something to show for it. But if i spend my time sitting in front of paper with a pen, will anything be achieved? What are the chances? Negative Nancy says, don't even bother.

I knew I'd come to that sooner or later. The real reason why I procrastinate - self-doubt. I wrote quite a bit about that yesterday, so I don't want to dwell on it. I'd rather dwell on how to arrange my life and my mindset so that I do write more, even if at first it's just adolescent ramblings. At least its something. Every word is practice. Every blog post cobbled together during breaks at work is a link in the chain. I have a weekly exercise schedule, I eat at (approximately) the same time every day, so why not a writing schedule? I've heard it said so many times - don't wait for inspiration to come, don't wait for the right conditions - just write! I'm going to pick a time each week, take my journal and write.

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